We attended our first discussion group last night and the topic was on 'The Wait'. We listened to families speak on their adoption journey and how they handled waiting for their child to come.
I've never been a part of a counseling session or a support group, but that's in essence what this was. We were in a room with around 27 families represented; all somewhere in the process of either domestic or international adoption.
No, we didn't go around the room and say, "Hi, my name is Brooke and it's been 15 months since I decided to adopt..." (
collective response: "Hi, Brooke!") But I felt a twinge of awkwardness at the situation. It's hard to talk about things so personal and as we sat on the front row within this large group of people, I felt this rawness amongst everyone. It was as if everyone was waiting for God to show up and give us all the answers we've been searching for. When I would make eye contact with others, we all seemed to have trepidation in our eyes. Most of the people in the room looked tired and anxious. The couple next to me was catatonic. the husband all but carried his wife to her seat and they clasped hands the entire time. Kevin and I wondered later in the evening if she was ok. Maybe they've been waiting a long time for a child, but who really knows? I can't get her face out of my memory.
Some couples were excited to be there and asked tons of questions. The rest of us just sat and observed our surroundings, taking it all in. Our case worker offered a lot of helpful information in regards to what happens during a meeting with a birth mother, accepting children who are drug positive, etc. Overall, I am so happy we went to this training session.
One quote from the evening that stood out to me was from the couple who waited four years for their child. They had already been married for 11 years so they took that time to really do all the things they wanted to do, they became closer than ever during their wait and now feel like they're all the better parents for it. It's all about staying positive no matter what trials life throws your way. She said at one point, "Don't be afraid to dream. It's ok to dream about the future even while you wait." When you don't want to think about something...because you were told it's never going to happen, or because it might not happen for a long time...it's hard to tell yourself that it's ok to be happy and excited. So now, as we focus on completing our home study and look forward to 'the wait', we are trusting that everything will happen in its good and proper time.
Thanks for waiting with us.
~Brooke
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