Officially a Waiting Family!

It's so crazy that we have made it this far in the adoption process already!  I have been nervous, y'all, for weeks waiting for our home study to be approved.  We received a message on Monday that everything was approved & now we were officially a waiting family. 

What does this mean?  I get a lot of questions about the process & hopefully I can clear up some of the mystery behind everything.

The home study isn't just an inspection of our physical home but a look into our finances, health, emotional well-being & how compatible we are as a married couple.  Family, friends & even our small group leader were contacted as references.  We filled out questionnaires, interviewed & completed online courses for adoption.  In summary, it's a HUGE process.  It's easy to get lost in the paperwork, but we just had to push through to reach the other side. 

Now that everything is approved, our profiles will be placed online for potential birth mothers to view. If they like what they see, they can request our book that basically includes lots of photos of our lives, friends & family.  We each wrote letters to the birth mom, too. 

We are adopting from the United States so from this point forward we could get a call at any time saying either a birth mom would like to meet us, or that a baby is available needing a home.  There's really no way we can plan for anything (the average wait time in the U.S. is two years) so it's a good thing we're so laid-back! 
Ideally, we would LOVE to know our child's birth mom & have an ongoing relationship with her...  Ideally, we would LOVE to be picked by someone in their 2nd or 3rd trimester that has a due date planned...

...but we all know what happens when we start talking about planning for things, right? 

Realistically we are ready to wait & have been anxious just to be waiting.  We have gone through so much to become parents, what's another two years, right?  We know God already has the baby meant to be in our little family lined up so we just have to be patient.   

While we wait, we do things like go to amazing concerts, see movies, read books, go on hikes with the pups.  We don't sit around!  We live life!

We can also start preparing a room for a little one.  (That sounds so weird to say!!!)

It's a hot mess right now, but we repainted it & have a few (30-40) books & a couple of little toys in the space we can look at from time-to-time.  Whenever I see the room I pray for our birth mother & it's a great reminder that this story is not over yet! 

Waiting to Wait

Things have been extremely hectic in our lives for the past few weeks & our focus has been on completing our home study, making online profiles & our birth mother books.  This was the part of the process I really looked forward to because it allows us to use our creative side. (Obviously it's more fun than drawing blood & filling out financial documents!)

For the past two weeks we have had radio silence between us & our agency.  We received confirmation that our home study is complete but it must be approved by the Director of the agency before we can become a waiting family. 

With this entire process you have good days & bad.  I tend to watch my Gmail alerts like a hawk, hoping for a notification that I have a new message from the agency.  But as the days drag on, fears & anxieties creep into my head. 

Our case worker asked me how I process through my grief at our last meeting.  I told her I collect beautiful things to keep me positive. Books, quotes & songs all keep me from having over-analyzing, self-deprecating, negative thoughts.  Staying active & spending quality time with family & friends has been my lifesaver as well. 

Here are some things I've collected on my phone to keep me focused & encouraged.  I hope it gives you encouragement today.

"The statistics or odds don't matter to God.  He is still at work in your life to give you confidence in Him." - Pastor Jim Thomas

"Darkness exists to make light truly count." - Ryan O'Neal, Sleeping At Last, Uneven Odds

John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

"No where is God more present than in our human weakness." - John R. Edwards

"Grace is love that seeks you out when you have nothing to give in return." - Paul Zahl

 

 

Today I cling to the confidence that everything is happening according to plan.  Our home study will be approved & someone who is making the most difficult decision of her life will see our profile & ask us to raise her child. 

 

Thank you for taking this journey with us. 

 

- B

 

 

 

Valentine

Happy Valentine's Day to our future Valentine...

This week we have our FINAL appointment.  Waiting List here we come!

Needless to say, right now we are:

Excited.

Hopeful.

Tired.

Anxious.

Nervous.

Ready.

We just have a few more flaming rings to jump through, but we expect everything will be approved by the end of the month. Peace, patience & perseverance are needed most right now!

Love, love, love -

B + K

Lipscomb Basketball Adoption Rally

Saturday night we attended a basketball game at Lipscomb University.  Not only was it Star Wars night... 

 

 

...but 100% of the proceeds went to 14 adopting families in the Nashville area & we were lucky enough to be recipients!

 

See us on the court?  It was awesome to meet other families & see so many smiling faces in the crowd cheering us on. 

 

 

 

We want to thank everyone that supported us by buying tickets & to those who came out to the game to hang out.  It was a fun night that we'll never forget!

 

 

 

 





It's ok to dream.

We attended our first discussion group last night and the topic was on 'The Wait'.  We listened to families speak on their adoption journey and how they handled waiting for their child to come. 

I've never been a part of a counseling session or a support group, but that's in essence what this was.  We were in a room with around 27 families represented; all somewhere in the process of either domestic or international adoption. 

No, we didn't go around the room and say, "Hi, my name is Brooke and it's been 15 months since I decided to adopt..." (collective response:  "Hi, Brooke!") But I felt a twinge of awkwardness at the situation.  It's hard to talk about things so personal and as we sat on the front row within this large group of people, I felt this rawness amongst everyone.  It was as if everyone was waiting for God to show up and give us all the answers we've been searching for.  When I would make eye contact with others, we all seemed to have trepidation in our eyes.  Most of the people in the room looked tired and anxious.  The couple next to me was catatonic.  the husband all but carried his wife to her seat and they clasped hands the entire time.  Kevin and I wondered later in the evening if she was ok.  Maybe they've been waiting a long time for a child, but who really knows?  I can't get her face out of my memory.

Some couples were excited to be there and asked tons of questions.  The rest of us just sat and observed our surroundings, taking it all in.  Our case worker offered a lot of helpful information in regards to what happens during a meeting with a birth mother, accepting children who are drug positive, etc. Overall, I am so happy we went to this training session.

One quote from the evening that stood out to me was from the couple who waited four years for their child.  They had already been married for 11 years so they took that time to really do all the things they wanted to do, they became closer than ever during their wait and now feel like they're all the better parents for it.  It's all about staying positive no matter what trials life throws your way. She said at one point, "Don't be afraid to dream.  It's ok to dream about the future even while you wait."  When you don't want to think about something...because you were told it's never going to happen, or because it might not happen for a long time...it's hard to tell yourself that it's ok to be happy and excited.  So now, as we focus on completing our home study and look forward to 'the wait', we are trusting that everything will happen in its good and proper time. 

Thanks for waiting with us.

~Brooke

Lipscomb Basketball Adoption Rally!

This week we were surprised by a phone call from a friend saying we needed to contact someone at Lipscomb University she had spoken to earlier that evening. Our names were mentioned, saying we were in the process to adopt a baby & after a couple of emails back & forth with the staff, I was told they wanted to support us in our journey.

Every year the university gives the proceeds from one basketball game to selected adopting families.  How cool is that?!  This year we are one of eight families in the Nashville area being honored!

The game is on Saturday, February 8th at 4pm.  The Lipscomb Bisons are playing ETSU.

Here's the deal:  To purchase tickets for the event, you just need to go to the following address:

http://lipscomb.streamlineticketing.com/web/section.asp?eventId=262

Follow the directions to select your seats & it will prompt you on the following page to create an account with their site.  At checkout, enter the promo code ADOPTMASCHMEIER & 100% of your ticket cost will go towards our adoption!

Wouldn't it be awesome to get a big group together & see a basketball game?  Please join us on February 8th!  We would LOVE to see you there.  Bring your kiddos!  Let's enjoy a great night celebrating adoption!

Share this info with anyone in the Nashville area that would like to support this event.  Thank you so much for your help!

~Brooke & Kevin

Miles to go!

Since our intake meeting last week we’ve had paperwork, testing & the looming home visit on our minds.  I knew we would have to jump through a lot of hoops to adopt, but I don’t think anything or anyone couple really prepare me for the reality of what happens during the adoption process. 

People ask if it makes me angry having to go through all of this.  I guess in some ways, if I dwell on it I start to get frustrated.  But really, I just want to be a mom.  I don’t care what I have to go through to be one.  If anything, Kevin & I are going to be VERY sure we’re supposed to be parents by the end of this process.  A lot of people don’t get that choice to consider every aspect of what it means to be a responsible, loving parent & we get that time to pray about it, think about it & anticipate it.  When I stop to think about adopting a child I just get so excited now.

So where am I in my ‘paper pregnancy’, you ask?  Well we were fingerprinted last week & we have scheduled our physicals which will take place the first week in February. 

 

We have most of our ‘important’ documentation on hand (birth certificates, marriage license & dog immunizations) I’m not kidding about that last one! We have surveys to fill in and our references have been contacted. 

Next week is our home visit (paint touch-ups happening now, fire extinguishers purchased, baby gate is set off to the side as proof that we will protect any child that comes in our house from the 2 little steps that go from our den to the kitchen.) J After that we will go through a series of interviews with the agency.  Our case worker said that if all goes as planned we could expect to be on a WAITING LIST in 6-8 weeks (well 6-7 now!) THAT’S SO EXCITING!  I just want to be there.  I want to be waiting on a child.  Knowing that we have to ‘pass’ all these tests is stressful.  I will be so happy to have that off our shoulders & just…wait.

Thanks to all of you who are waiting with us & following us along this journey! 

 

~Brooke