Nine Months & Counting

Today marks 9 months we have been on the waiting list for our adoption.

There are definitely opportunities for bitterness to seep into my heart when we think about what 9 months means...

...if I were pregnant I would have a baby by now

When in reality, if I were to get pregnant I would have a 4 year old by now.

I can see a difference in my attitude towards infertility when I stop negative thoughts and redirect my thinking to the positive. I'm not saying I'm always successful in redirecting my thoughts. I have my fair share of pity parties, but one, two, three years ago the difference is that I would stay in my pity parties & struggled to cope through the pain & unfairness of infertility.

Kevin & I regularly discuss the idea of having a kid in our house. What will that look like, sound like, feel like? It's just been the two of us for so long, we can't imagine having someone else to talk to or play with. I won't even go into conversations like...what will he or she look like???

We still get depressed. We still H-A-T-E waiting. We still grieve. We still hope...& that's the difference. We haven't given up & know there is an end to this period of our lives.

Realizing that nine months has passed has brought excitement to our lives in some ways. I actually want to finish our nursery, even if that means staring at an empty crib for months. We've starting to buy cutesy things like these:

 

This might not seem like a big deal to any of you, but it's monumental to us. We've spent years avoiding children's aisles, the baby department in Target, but now we feel ok to buy stuff like this.

 

The Wait is a roller coaster & a test of endurance. People ask us every day how we deal with it, what we do. Well, we stay busy. We work on projects around the house. We go to concerts, go hiking, watch movies, hang out with friends. I read and write every day. Kevin takes amazing photos of the moon and nature. We spoil our puppies rotten. It's these things that keep us going.

 

I'm currently reading a book & it mentioned grief in a brilliant way. In Jonathan Tropper's How to Talk to a Widower, the main character Doug lost his wife unexpectedly the year before & he struggles with life after losing his spouse. (It's actually quite a funny read. Not as depressing as it sounds.) At one point he is speaking to his stepson's guidance counselor & she says this to him:

 

"You didn't invent grief. My shrink once told me that...

The point is, people become possessive of their grief, almost proud of it. They want to believe it's like no one else's. But it is. It's exactly like everyone else's.

Grief is like a shark. It's been around forever, and in that time there's been just about no evolution. You know why?

"...Because it's perfect just the way it is."

 

In any unfortunate situation we have the capacity to let grief consume our lives. We have the right to be angry & feel self-righteous, but at the end of the day it just feels tiresome. All I can do is learn from my grief, rely on others & trust that eventually it'll get better.

 

Hopefully we won't have to keep waiting much longer, but if we do it's all going to be ok.

 

...thanks for letting me vent. :)

 

-B



So many ways to help!

During National Adoption Month there are TONS of ways to get involved with adopting families or support children in need!

I have talked about the sweet folks at Sweet Sleep before & I just love how they help kids in foster care as well as orphans in countries like Haiti & Russia. If you feel like giving financially to them, or donating items they could use to send to kids go here: Sweet Sleep
 In their shop they have tons of handmade goods & apparel that benefit their cause OR you can give a one-time or recurring donation to help them out!

If you want to go good & receive something fashionable in return, you NEED to visit Subsidy Shades.

Selling sunglasses to help fund her adoption, Melissa's fundraising idea took off & now she sells shades to help other families. Seriously, their glasses are so cool! They're affordable & I think your loved ones would love to find some in their stockings this year. Go here to order: Subsidy Shades & follow them on all of your social media accounts including Pinterest!

{{insert shameless plug here}}

You can still order tee's here: Love Found Us Tee's to help us raise fund for our adoption! Every little bit helps. Thanks for supporting #teamBabyMasch!!


Love - Brooke

World Adoption Day!

Today marks the first observance of World Adoption Day!

Like us, there are so many families waiting to adopt & so there are so many kids around the world waiting for a home. 

We would be HONORED if you ordered one of our adoption t-shirts today! Not only would it help us provide the funds needed to bring Baby Masch home, but it is a great conversation starter too! So many people have given us feedback about wearing their tee's out & about & the questions they get as to the meaning of "Love Found Us". Hopefully it gives you an opportunity to talk about adoption & bring awareness to your friends going through the adoption process. (Plus, they are SUPER comfy!)

You can order the t-shirts here: "Love Found Us" Tees!

Keep spreading the word & send us photos if you already have a tee. 

Lots of Love - B&K 

National Adoption Month!



Today marks the beginning of National Adoption Month! 

During the month of November we're hoping you'll join us in celebrating adoption & praying for our future placement.

As we begin our 8th month on the waiting list we are hopeful, prayerful & optimistic that Baby Masch is on his or her way soon!

There are a few things happening this month that we wanted to announce:

First off, due to popular demand & to celebrate National Adoption Month, we have decided to sell more Love Found Us tees to help us raise money for our adoption.

So many of you have sent us photos of you in your Love Found Us tee. It's been awesome to see how excited you are about our adoption!

 

Now through November 15th, we're taking orders on my Etsy store under the adoption fundraiser section. Tee's are going to be printed on a soft, charcoal shirt & cost $25. Sizes available in XS-3X.

We're excited about this new color & hope you guys like it!

Check it out here: www.brookesbeads.etsy.com

Please tell your friends about our t-shirt sale! I can't wait to see more of you lovelies representing Love Found Us!!! 

The other thing we wanted to talk about is WORLD ADOPTION DAY!

November 9th is the first ever World Adoption Day & Brooke is an ambassador! We're raising awareness & celebrating domestic & international adoption. If you want to show YOUR support simply post a photo like this little guy with a smiley drawn on your hand...

Use the hashtag featured above, tag me & Kevin (@itsbrookemasch / @kevinmasch) & let everyone know how COOL adoption is. There is tons of info on their website: www.worldadoptionday.org Check it out & apply to become an ambassador too!

Here's to an excellent month! We're so thankful for YOU!

Lots of Love - Brooke & Kevin 

What To Expect When You're Not Expecting (part 1)

This post goes out to all the Infertile Myrtles out there...

I've been reading a lot of posts about infertility and decided to join in on the movement that's now affectionately known as Fertility Fridays. It can be extremely hard to live with infertility but I don't believe it's anything we should be ashamed of. If you're struggling with it or think you may be infertile I would love for you to connect with me so we can talk about it. The best thing I have found when dealing with infertility is that there's strength in numbers and nothing is too hard to bear when you're holding someone else's hand.

What to Expect When You're Not Expecting

I don't think I'm alone in saying that when you decide to start having kids you go into it thinking that it'll be the easiest thing in the world. People get pregnant every day but as the months go by and you aren't getting pregnant, niggling doubts pop up in your mind and begin to fester. Early on, I really didn't know anyone else who had problems conceiving so there were a lot of times when I felt completely lost. I don't claim to have all the answers when it comes to fertility treatments or testing, but this is my story...

It'll Happen...Right?

My husband and I decided to start trying for kids about 3 years into our marriage. We really didn't worry about it after the first couple of months but once months 6,7, and 8 came along we started to get impatient. I really believe you should talk to a doctor after a year of TTC (trying to conceive). If you have a gynecologist you can trust, they won't immediately force medications on you to help you get pregnant. I found out when we received our final diagnosis that a drug like Clomid would not work for me, so I'm grateful for my doctor's wisdom early on advising against wasting money on pointless treatments. *more on that later

After we tried for a year, we started researching on our own different reasons for infertility, ways to improve your chances of getting pregnant, etc. It's tricky at this stage in the game to NOT become obsessed with your struggle. It can become maddening to try and try and try to make something happen. It consumed me and affected my daily life. I had no reason to doubt my ability to become pregnant so I started buying ovulation kits, I changed my diet, took prenatal vitamins, worked out and read up on every blog or book I could find about methods for conceiving. Despite all my efforts, things weren't happening.

I gave up on my gynecologist and started seeing a Nurse-Midwife who, despite not knowing anything about infertility, worked tirelessly to help find answers for me. She recommended a book called Taking Charge of Your Infertility that was extremely helpful explaining not just conceiving but natural birth control, and understanding the female reproductive system. One of the methods for planning and preventing pregnancy is to chart your temperatures to gauge when you're ovulating. My Midwife suggested I chart my temperature for at least six months so she could get a good idea on what my body was doing. *please take note that I had already peed on hundreds of sticks every morning hoping to learn whether I was ovulating or pregnant. I wasn't looking forward to another six months of testing, but I was willing to try anything. Once I started charting, I kept my thermometer on my bedside table, mapped out my temps and went on with my day. After three or four months I had pages of line graphs mapping my body's temperature and still no clear answers. At my six month check-up she decided that my results were inconclusive but it appeared that I wasn't ovulating normally.

When you get to this point I believe you have a few options:
1.) Move on and come to terms with the unknown. You might get pregnant one day but you might not. Change your priorities, consider it a closed door and carry on.
2.) Continue testing. Seek a specialist to further test any problems you're having with conceiving.
3.) Talk about alternative ways of becoming parents (IUI, IVF, surrogacy, fostering, adopting).

If You Don't Know What an RE is, Then You're Probably Fertile

We decided to go with option #2 and I can proudly say that I am lucky to have a husband that wasn't embarrassed to get tested. It's a sensitive thing to talk about with men, but you have to remember if you're both wanting to get pregnant YOU ARE A TEAM. There shouldn't be embarrassment to get tested (for men or women).  This type of shame reflects the idea that we live in a society where it's normal to conceive and you're abnormal if you can't. Treat infertility like any other illness or disease. You shouldn't ignore it and you should want to know what's going on in your body.

We sought out a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) next and began what would become a 10 month process of diagnosing our fertility. It sounds super scary but here's what you need to keep in mind when you visit an RE:

Their sole job is to help people conceive babies. There are many different methods to make this happen but a good RE will completely diagnose your health before prescribing treatments and alternative methods to pregnancy. Believe me, I asked if I could just take medicine or do an IUI at the very beginning but our doc was patient and said he wanted a clear picture of what was going on before he would make any decisions.

We were given a timeline of tests necessary for me to complete and started right away with blood work and ultrasounds. If there's one thing I can guarantee when it comes to fertility testing it's this: You will give TONS of blood and get poked and prodded in places where the sun don't shine every time you visit.

The Lupron Challenge Test came first, doesn't that sound exciting?! It's really not that fun. The LCT tests hormone levels and egg development/sustainability. You go in two days in a row, on the 1st day of your period (I'm not joking) give tons of blood, get a shot of Lupron (which makes you a crazy hormonal) and an uterine ultrasound (you want to stick what, where?!?!?!) More blood is given the following day and through all of this they can see how healthy your eggs are. *spoiler alert: I failed the Lupron Challenge.

A few weeks later I went into the hospital for a procedure where they took cameras and looked at my fallopian tubes, they sucked out a sample of my uterine wall and took a closer look at my ovaries.

Quick story: I'm in pre-op when Nurse Ratched comes to my bed and goes through my file. She quickly tells me that my doctor is en route so we will get going pretty soon. Before walking away she adds, "oh good news! You're not pregnant. Your pregnancy test came back negative!"

People can be really insensitive.

What Happens Now?

When we received our final diagnosis we were told that we would have less than 1% chance of conceiving naturally and 50% if we went with other alternative options. It was extremely hard to hear initially but I'm glad we have the results because it helped us move on. What did we do after we received the news? We took a trip. We went to visit friends and toured some National Parks and took time away from the world to absorb our diagnosis. I guess you never know how you will handle a situation until you're in it. I can tell you I've never felt grief like I did when we first found out. It really sucks and it doesn't stop sucking.

After a lengthy bit of time we had a talk about kids. Did we still want them? How would we have them? Then we took more time to dwell on alternative means to parenting. Let me just say there is no right or wrong answer here. You have to do what's good for your family and not worry about what the everyone else says. I wanted to still be a mama but realized I don't need to carry a child or even be biologically related to him or her to be one. Throughout our entire journey we agreed that we would make all of our decisions as a team and if 1 of us vetoed an idea then we would drop it and move on to something else.

When we started the adoption conversation we both felt at peace about moving forward. I knew that no matter what we would fulfill our desires to parent by adopting a child who needs a home. We sought advice from friends who adopted and eventually chose an agency that we felt comfortable with. Even though we have chosen to adopt and I CANNOT WAIT TO ADOPT it still hurts to think that I can't have a biological child.

So if you're in the middle of the infertility struggle and don't know what to do next, just take it one day at a time and keep breathing. Talk to someone about it. Talk to ME about it. If I'm useful for anything it's an endless supply of funny YouTube videos and motivational photos on Pinterest. It'll get easier...I promise.

Lots of Love,

Brooke

Perks! Perks! Perks!

Since our Indiegogo campaign ended last month we have been gathering up all the perks to send to our donors. This week we received the t-shirts & we can't wait for you to receive them!

For everyone who donated, keep a look out for a special delivery in your mailboxes!

Keep up with us on how much you like your perks & send us photos in your t-shirts so we can post them on a later blog. If you use social media, tag us or use #lovefoundus #BabyMasch #Adoption

As always, thanks for your continued support. The waiting is getting tough but we feel your love.

Lots of Love,

Kevin & Brooke

Happy Birthday to me!!!!

Our fundraising campaign ended last night & we raised over $5,600!

 

113% of our goal!

That's all thanks to so many of you who have generously supported our adoption. We are extremely grateful for the love we have received over the past 40 days (& beyond)! Seriously guys, you're awesome.

With the money we already have saved, we should have enough for our placement fee & a little left over to help cover the attorney fees! Y'all don't understand how big of a blessing this is to us. What this means is that should we get a call tomorrow that Baby Masch has arrived we will have the money to pay for our adoption placement. NO loans, NO 'declines' because we don't have enough money. We can say, 'when is he or she ready to be picked up?' :)

To those of you who donated & need to receive perks, we will start mailing those out soon! We are placing t-shirt orders & canvases will be painted for you!

Speaking of t-shirts...

If you want to get a t-shirt with our blog logo on it, let me know! We can add on your t-shirt order for $20 which is just above the at-cost price. Both shirts are going to be very high quality & come in the colors heather gray & heather red. Here's a mock up of how they'll look:

Here's a photo I've posted before of the old t-shirts (same logo - the new shirts will fit a little differently)

Both tee's are unisex, but the heather red will run a little smaller. (It shouldn't be a BRIGHT red, I think more of a faded red.) They're all available in XS-XXXL.

 

Send me a message on our blog, Facebook, text, etc. if you would like to order one & we'll make arrangements!

 

Big things are going to happen...I can just feel it!

 

Lots of Love - Brooke :)

 

 

Quiltin' Time

We were able to spend the week with my mom! While she was here we had so much fun working on the quilt we'll one day give Baby Masch. When we talked about the type of quilt I wanted for the baby, I didn't want to make a cutesy children's quilt, I wanted a blanket our child could use throughout their life. Of course we don't know what gender our child so we kept the colors neutral. We found all sorts of awesome colors & patterns to use & got busy on cutting all the hexagons for the pattern.

Once everything was cut it was like a puzzle trying to decide where to position all the quilt pieces.

 

We had to move everything to the floor. It almost felt like we were playing a weird game of Twister! But once everything was laid out, we were happy with ho it looks. Once everything is sewn together you'll be able to see this oval pattern of all the hexagons in the center of the quilt! How cool is that!?

You can help us finish this quilt by donating: igg.me/at/maschbaby

One day when we tell our baby about all the generous people who helped us become a family, we can show him or her this quilt. It will be a tangible reminder of all of YOU who have loved us so generously & helped bring them home to us.

Here's the lady behind this massive project! My mama! :)

Campaign Updates, Placements, Lawers, Oh My!

Things got crazy on Friday when we reached our Indiegogo Campaign goal! How mental is that?! Tomorrow marks the 3 week point since our campaign went live but it's still running until August 9th! We could pack it in & be happy with our 100% but we've already exceeded the goal as I type this so why stop now? There are still perks to be had, including a set of 25 custom Christmas cards, our favorite Nashville things & of course Kevin's song! (<<< which I make weird ghost noises at the end.) Keep spreading the word: igg.me/at/maschbaby

People have asked us a lot of questions in regards to the campaign goal, what the money will be used for & why things cost as much as they do so I thought I would explain the process a little more.

We set the campaign goal at $5,000 because that will be the approximate amount needed for our adoption placement. What is a placement, you ask? Placement is the term we use when we are given a child. At this point we are paid in full with our adoption agency but all of the costs we have paid so far have been administrative fees (home study, doctor's appointments, background checks, online parenting classes, etc.) When we are matched or placed with a child we have to pay our agency a placement fee. This estimated cost is for 1 child & is due in full once the agency places the child in our home. As of right now, if we were matched with a baby we would be able to pay our placement fee in FULL. Can you imagine how much weight is lifted from our shoulders because of this?!?!?

There are so many unknowns when it comes to adoption. One of the fees we have already paid for is our birth mother fee, which is money to cover any medical costs for our future birthmom or payment for needs she has while she is pregnant. If our birthmom has financial needs above the amount we have already given, we will help with those needs too. (Side-note: If our birthmom is having twins, our placement fee will be higher as well, but not the birthmother fee.) Some people have been 'offended' for us when we say we have to help the birthmom with her needs. But why wouldn't we? The state of Tennessee says we are obligated to assist the birthmom with her personal or medical expenses during her 3rd trimester but honestly, it's our privilege to do so. If we are able to have a relationship with our birthmom, we will do whatever we can to help her through this tough process because she is giving US so much in return.

After the placement we will have to hire a lawyer to help us finalize the adoption at 6 months. Last week we met with an awesome lawyer who explained everything that happens from start-to-finish when it comes to placing the baby in our care. We discussed all of the fees involved, when we will have to go to court, when the birthmom goes to court, etc. There are so many details, so many variables but at the end of the day lawyer fees are just another necessary expense when you adopt. We're so grateful to have a lawyer to work with who isn't doing this to make money off of us, she was very open & transparent about her costs (the range of costs, depending on what our situation will be) & we believe this is another answered prayer, another stress taken off of our shoulders.

Once the baby is placed in our home, he/she will be under the custody of our adoption agency for the first 6 months of their life. At that point we'll go to court to finalize the adoption so that Baby Masch will legally be Baby Masch! Isn't that exciting?

Adoption is so hard, it's trying & frustrating. We just want to be parents & want this journey to begin for REAL! Thanks for experiencing this journey with us! Big things are coming!

~Brooke

"What the world really needs is more love & less paperwork." - Pearl Bailey

So Grateful!

Our Indiegogo campaign began a week ago & already we have raised $3,000! It just absolutely amazes us how many people have responded to our fundraiser & have given so generously.

Kev & I were totally surprised last night when we received a sweet card in the mail from one of my first Sunday School teachers. It was such an encouragement to us! We were reminded how awesome it feels to know so many people are praying for our adoption and remembering us as we continue on this adventure.

 

Obviously, I can't end this post without mentioning something about our fundraiser. :)

 

We're surrounded by so many talented friends & I have to brag on one for a moment. Our buddy Lauren Rives has a shop on Etsy called Line Twenty selling stationery and cards. Check it out & buy stuff from her store! https://www.etsy.com/shop/LineTwentyStationery She does beautiful work!

 

For Christmas she gave me this lovely framed text & it's proudly displayed on our piano at home as an encouragement and reminder to keep going every day:

So when we thought about perks that would be meaningful to us to give to you guys as a 'thank you' I approached Lauren. I asked if she could paint some lovely music lyrics on canvases & she agreed! We decided on lyrics from one of my favorite Sleeping at Last song's 'Light'. Listen to this song with the mindset of adoption (or just parenting in general). The words are so beautiful!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7egYKkIKqDs

When we gave Lauren the lyrics to use she ran with the concept & created this sweet 4x4 canvas which is available to you with a $75 donation.

 

Each canvas ordered will be hand painted & not only will you receive the canvas, but we'll include all of the lower level perks too! (T-shirt, family photo, Kevin's song, etc.)

 

As always, thanks for donating & thanks for sharing our campaign with everyone you know!

 

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/maschmeier-adoption-help-us-bring-our-baby-home/x/4987858

 

Talk to you soon!

 

~ Brooke

 

Indiegogo Update!

After all the excitement yesterday I realized I forgot to post the link to our Indiegogo Campaign on our blog!

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/maschmeier-adoption-help-us-bring-our-baby-home

 

 

We really didn't know what to expect for our first day but we were completely blown away by the reception our campaign received. At the end of day one we were pushing $1,800!

 

WHAT IS THIS LIFE?!?!?

 

This means starting day two we are THIS CLOSE to raising 50% of our campaign goal. Thanks to all who have been tenacious in sharing the link, telling your friends & donating! Every single dollar helps. We're completely humbled that anyone would want to give.

 

To those that downloaded the song yesterday, we're going to send each of you the file today. We've been working out the kinks to this process so bear with us.

 

I've talked about a lot of the perks available on the blog, but one I haven't mentioned yet is the $175 perk where we will take YOU to dinner.

 

We love living in Nashville because there are amazing local eateries on just about every street corner. We have pizza joints for days, amazing sushi spots, burgers and hot chicken that will make you slap your mama. Seriously, it's taken us years & we are still working our way through all of the dives this city has to offer.

 

So here's the deal: if you donate $175 Kevin & I will take you (+1) to dinner. We really just love double dates. The catch is, if you live out of town you must come to Nashville. If you get this perk, we'll sort out the logistics with you later. You can pick what type of food you want so if you've always wanted to try Thai food, we know just the place. If you've always wanted to visit The Loveless Café, we'll take you there. (We know an excellent server there!)

 

 

If you are coming in from out of town, we might even be able to house you overnight at our house. You just have to like dogs, because Koola & Khloe LOVE house guests. :)

 

Talk to you Soon!

 

B+K

 



Quilt Fundraiser!

Tomorrow is the big day! Our Indiegogo campaign will go live at 9am central time. There are a ton of exciting perks available if you donate ranging from $1-250! We're fine tuning the site today in preparation for the launch & I can't wait to see what God will do through this effort.

One perk that’s near & dear to my heart is a quilt my mom is making for Baby Masch. A lot of adopting families will sell puzzle pieces to donors and then hang the puzzle in their child’s nursery once it’s completed. It's something tangible the child can keep that will always remind them of the community of people involved with bringing him or her home.

When I thought about personalizing that to our own adoption, I thought about a huge quilt that our child could keep for years to come. I ran the idea by my mom, who’s like a Jedi Master when it comes to the sewing machine, & she loved the idea of creating a quilt for her future grandbaby!

So for $20 you can contribute towards building a baby quilt! The donation will off-set the materials for the quilt & eventually turn into this beautiful blanket for the baby. She's already been hard at work prepping some of the hexagons for the pattern. Once completed, the quilt will have a honeycomb pattern.

Here's a look at a couple of quilt squares (hexi's):

Keep checking back for updates regarding the campaign!

 

Lots of Love - B+K

T-Shirts!

Happy Friday everyone! Remember on Tuesday, July 1st our Indiegogo campaign goes live!

One of the perks available for donating are Love Found Us tee's!

Our lovely friends Heather & Lindsey sported theirs at our yard sale last year. They've gone under a redesign & now they're available in heather gray & heather red!

 

Remember to spread the word on Tuesday!

 

B+K

Fundraiser Announcement!

When we decided to adopt we knew it would be expensive, but we didn't realize how expensive it would actually end up being. At our very first adoption meeting with the agency, they said that fundraising would be necessary but we cringed at the idea of asking people for money. We have been extremely blessed by so many through support with yard sales, Christmas cookie orders & the Lipscomb University basketball fundraisers that have been held. However, all of this plus money we have saved has only covered around 75% of the adoption fees. Trust me when I say, the adoption process and all that comes with it can be extremely exhausting!

Insert an amazing, gracious, uber-talented friend  >>>{{{HERE}}} <<< 

We were approached by a close friend about using Indiegogo.com to help us raise the remainder of the funds needed to complete our adoption fund. Indiegogo is a site that helps people raise money for a specific cause and in return donors receive perks for their monetary gift. We LOVED the idea of giving something in return for those so gracious to help our cause.

So I'm excited to announce that on July 1st, we will begin our adoption campaign & we need YOUR help to make it successful! There are so many perks available that we have worked hard on & we hope that you'll spread the word to all of your friends.

Our goal for the campaign is to raise $5,000 in 40 days. Is this possible? We have NO clue!

In the coming days you will see more campaign news so keep checking back to this blog, Facebook, Twitter & Instagram for teasers. 

Thanks in advance for helping us reach our goal! Seriously, you guys are awesome.

B+K

Patience

Kevin & I sometimes forget that you guys are just as excited about our adoption as we are! We welcome conversations about adoption, don't get us wrong. The difference is: hope, disappointment, daily reminders that stare us in the face every day. We have to guard our hearts constantly & stay focused on the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks for waiting with us. We apologize for the radio silence but there are BIG things coming.

Fortunately we have a lot of things to keep us busy while we wait. Kevin has been working on music like crazy (we recorded a song together!), our little garden is blossoming full of life & we're taking a trip to celebrate some dear folks getting hitched.

We have awesome music to listen to that inspires us & speaks to our hearts. We are currently in the middle of a pretty intense House marathon on Netflix & we are always exploring the sights, sounds & delicious eats in our fair city. Honestly, we're living life. We're putting our faith in the plan that our little one is going to come into this world & join in on the adventure with us. Until then, we keep moving!

Talk to you soon...

B

Happy Birthmother's Day!

We think about our birthmother every day. It's something that has become a part of our every day lives.

Where is she? What is she thinking about? Is she scared? Is she pregnant now? Do you think she will like us?  When will we meet? 

Today we want to celebrate our future birthmom & hope she has the best in everything life offers. We hope that she is happy & has an excellent support system in place around her.

But most of all we want her to know that we love her.

Happy Birthmother's Day!

- Brooke & Kevin

An Open letter to Infertile Women

Dear Friend,

So you're infertile, eh?  Isn't that such a gross word?  I feel like we should be so far beyond that word in this day & age but nope, we're stuck with it. What's annoying is that there are just as many infertile men in the U.S. but no one associates that word with them. Being infertile is like this HUGE word anchored to our uteruses sinking us deeper & deeper into despair. It's cold and clinical and even saying 'being infertile' makes me cringe because if I had the option I would just 'be' something else like maybe, you know, fertile. For some reason the word has become embarrassing in our society.  We whisper it to people when they ask us why we don't have kids. Often we don't want to admit that we are & end up saying things like, "in God's timing..." or "one day, we'll see!" 

Being an infertile woman can mean a variety of things. The basic definition saying that you're technically infertile if you have tried to conceive (TTC) for a year without any luck.  Don't be scared by this definition because there's nothing wrong with you! Even if it takes two, three or four + years, your body is a crazy, complex machine that doesn't make any sense sometimes. It's on a timetable of its own & sometimes there's nothing we can do to speed it up or slow it down. For some of us, getting pregnant takes a crap ton of patience (which I usually lack).

I'm considered infertile because my eggs die not long after ovulation & I've probably been this way my whole life. (How crummy is that?) When I look at the big picture, that's what bothers me more than anything. I'm healthy in every other way that matters...but my eggs die. Every month. There's nothing to be done about it. My husband is also infertile (also unexplained, possibly from birth, yadda yadda...) so with both of those factors the odds were never in our favor to conceive naturally. (Spoken in my best Effie Trinket voice.)

OK, enough with that...my objective is not to bum you out. Commiserate? Maybe. Encourage? Yes!

Now, I'm sure you know how this feels...

Ick. Things can be scary when you're in a room dressed like this, staring at a poster of Hawaii on the ceiling (because that just takes our minds right off of the fact that we're being poked & prodded in places where the sun don't shine, ya know?) Being in this room sucks. When I was in this room I would get clammy & my mind would go blank. Fortunately I have a really cool husband that held my hand, listened to what our Reproduction Endocrinologist (RE) said & studiously took notes on his iPhone so we would remember what was said. Hopefully you have someone in the room for you...

Remember when a word like 'sperm' made you blush?  I think the first time I verbally got to third base with the receptionist at our doctor's office I realized nothing is off-limits with infertility. There's no privacy, no room for modesty & unfortunately you brain eventually forgets the rest of the world is surprisingly prudish if you use terms like 'artificial insemination' or 'vaginal ultrasound' in general conversation. I feel like I could be a freaking RE with all the knowledge I've gained from our experience. Through my nine months of testing I felt like a walking, talking medical experiment. I was pumped with drugs that made me hysterical. I gave so much blood I would nearly pass out & I dealt with Nurse Ratched in the hospital saying, 'good news! You're not pregnant!' moments before I had cameras fished up my tubes and a portion of my uterine wall sucked out. (Gee thanks, lady!  Why the heck do you think I'm here?!) I can see comfort in the journey now because every test, every needle, every diagnosis was a puzzle piece that helped me understand my infertility.  Before testing, I drove myself (& my husband) crazy with wondering.

What makes matters worse is that sometimes there's really no one you can talk to when you're going through fertility testing. Not because you necessarily want to be private, but because people just don't understand. 

Of course people aren't going to understand. Only about 15% of couples will relate to what you're going through so naturally you'll run into well-meaning people that put their foot in their mouth. They'll offer advice: "oh just relax...", "take Clomid!  I hear that helps...", "maybe you should lose weight..." or one of my favorites, "go on vacation!  I got pregnant with all of my kids that way." (<<where are THEY going for vacation?) But I have found that a lot of people are curious about infertility in a way that's not annoying or out of pity. There are people who actually want to understand how we feel & will try to be comforting. Let them in! I know I sound super political & hippy, but educate those in your circle of influence. Reduce the risk of negativity & insensitive comments by being honest about your journey (as you feel led).

You're going to get bitter, it's inevitable. Maybe you'll handle it better than I did because I honestly felt like a hot mess.  Your friends aren't popping out kids because they know it'll tick you off.  The pregnant lady in Target taking up aisle space isn't evil, either.  Facebook can be the enemy most days & then you'll get that awkward text from a close friend saying: "I didn't know how to tell you, but..." It feels ridiculous at times but try to take it with a grain of salt.  Just smile, congratulate, & click 'like' because that's pretty much all you can do. Eventually your excitement for other people will be genuine...eventually.

I am not telling you to it's going to get easier. Manageable, maybe. Bearable if you're lucky. I won't tell you to move on but sometimes distracting yourself is all that helps. Stay active, start a hobby, read a million books, get addicted to TV shows, watch movies & take a vacation.  (<<fully understanding that 'vacation' isn't some magical existence that automatically makes you & your spouse fertile.) Have quiet time for yourself & think about everything positive in your life.  If you're religious, pray & seek counseling or confide in a mentor.  Smile! Enjoy life in spite of your circumstances. Take time to cry but please don't go through this alone.  (Oh, AVOID Publix commercials...they're the devil.)

I promise one day you'll get to a point where you will accept it. You don't have to be happy about it, but acceptance is freeing. Whether you choose to not parent a child, pursue reproductive therapy or adopt, choose the path that makes you happy. Know that you belong to a community of so many women that know your struggle & are there to help you through it. Together, we're capable of more than we know.

Don't give up, ok?

With Love,

Infertile Myrtle


This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. In the United States, one in eight couples experience infertility.  Millions of dollars are spent annually on reproductive drugs & procedures ranging from hormone therapy to In Vitro Fertilization. If you know someone going through infertility respect their struggle & offer love - not advice. Though this blog post contains humor, infertility is nothing to laugh at. It's a medical condition; a disease. It's road is paved with heartbreak & embarrassment. If you're reading this & you are not someone who lives with infertility, ask questions, be supportive & remember how precious the gift of life is. "Life is a gorgeous, broken gift."

Pickers wanted!

We're constantly amazed by people's generosity.  Through our small group leaders, we were asked if we'd like to organize an estate sale at a home here in Donelson that was left full of stuff when the new owners purchased it.

When I say 'full of stuff', y'all, I mean full of...STUFF. 

They need the house cleared out by the end of the month, so I'm excited to tell you that we're hosting the sale on Saturday, April 26th.  From 7am - 3pm stop by and find some cheap deals! All proceeds will help us bring Baby Masch home!

The address is: 

259 Lisa Lane

Nashville, TN  37210

We have a little bit of everything up for grabs:

• Couches
• Appliances
• Home décor
• Bicycles
• Golf Clubs
• Construction materials (wood, ventilation materials, countertops, doors, etc.)
• Utility Sinks
• Faucets
• Hot tub shell
• A BOAT (with trailer)
• Fire pits
• Dishes
• Lawn mowers
• Lamps
• Outdoor Items

The list goes on & on...

It's a Pinterest lover's DREAM!

 

Lastly, if you are feeling generous & would consider volunteering a little bit of time, we could certainly use help with the sale.  Message or text us if you're willing. We'll have drinks & snacks available.

Please spread the word & get folks out to this sale!  We're sure you'll find some treasures!

- B&K

TGIF, y'all!

It's been a quiet couple of weeks for us and there isn't anything to report on the adoption, but we are at peace with 'the wait' right now.  I spoke with a friend who is also adopting this morning & just said we fully trust God knows what He's doing.  I am grateful today for my husband, my family & my friends.  I am hopeful the right birth mama will stumble across our profile when the time is right. 

 

I hope all of the amazing folks that make up our community have a wonderful weekend.  We are praying for YOU today.  Keep loving & encouraging one another. 

 



 

Officially a Waiting Family!

It's so crazy that we have made it this far in the adoption process already!  I have been nervous, y'all, for weeks waiting for our home study to be approved.  We received a message on Monday that everything was approved & now we were officially a waiting family. 

What does this mean?  I get a lot of questions about the process & hopefully I can clear up some of the mystery behind everything.

The home study isn't just an inspection of our physical home but a look into our finances, health, emotional well-being & how compatible we are as a married couple.  Family, friends & even our small group leader were contacted as references.  We filled out questionnaires, interviewed & completed online courses for adoption.  In summary, it's a HUGE process.  It's easy to get lost in the paperwork, but we just had to push through to reach the other side. 

Now that everything is approved, our profiles will be placed online for potential birth mothers to view. If they like what they see, they can request our book that basically includes lots of photos of our lives, friends & family.  We each wrote letters to the birth mom, too. 

We are adopting from the United States so from this point forward we could get a call at any time saying either a birth mom would like to meet us, or that a baby is available needing a home.  There's really no way we can plan for anything (the average wait time in the U.S. is two years) so it's a good thing we're so laid-back! 
Ideally, we would LOVE to know our child's birth mom & have an ongoing relationship with her...  Ideally, we would LOVE to be picked by someone in their 2nd or 3rd trimester that has a due date planned...

...but we all know what happens when we start talking about planning for things, right? 

Realistically we are ready to wait & have been anxious just to be waiting.  We have gone through so much to become parents, what's another two years, right?  We know God already has the baby meant to be in our little family lined up so we just have to be patient.   

While we wait, we do things like go to amazing concerts, see movies, read books, go on hikes with the pups.  We don't sit around!  We live life!

We can also start preparing a room for a little one.  (That sounds so weird to say!!!)

It's a hot mess right now, but we repainted it & have a few (30-40) books & a couple of little toys in the space we can look at from time-to-time.  Whenever I see the room I pray for our birth mother & it's a great reminder that this story is not over yet! 

Waiting to Wait

Things have been extremely hectic in our lives for the past few weeks & our focus has been on completing our home study, making online profiles & our birth mother books.  This was the part of the process I really looked forward to because it allows us to use our creative side. (Obviously it's more fun than drawing blood & filling out financial documents!)

For the past two weeks we have had radio silence between us & our agency.  We received confirmation that our home study is complete but it must be approved by the Director of the agency before we can become a waiting family. 

With this entire process you have good days & bad.  I tend to watch my Gmail alerts like a hawk, hoping for a notification that I have a new message from the agency.  But as the days drag on, fears & anxieties creep into my head. 

Our case worker asked me how I process through my grief at our last meeting.  I told her I collect beautiful things to keep me positive. Books, quotes & songs all keep me from having over-analyzing, self-deprecating, negative thoughts.  Staying active & spending quality time with family & friends has been my lifesaver as well. 

Here are some things I've collected on my phone to keep me focused & encouraged.  I hope it gives you encouragement today.

"The statistics or odds don't matter to God.  He is still at work in your life to give you confidence in Him." - Pastor Jim Thomas

"Darkness exists to make light truly count." - Ryan O'Neal, Sleeping At Last, Uneven Odds

John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

"No where is God more present than in our human weakness." - John R. Edwards

"Grace is love that seeks you out when you have nothing to give in return." - Paul Zahl

 

 

Today I cling to the confidence that everything is happening according to plan.  Our home study will be approved & someone who is making the most difficult decision of her life will see our profile & ask us to raise her child. 

 

Thank you for taking this journey with us. 

 

- B

 

 

 

Valentine

Happy Valentine's Day to our future Valentine...

This week we have our FINAL appointment.  Waiting List here we come!

Needless to say, right now we are:

Excited.

Hopeful.

Tired.

Anxious.

Nervous.

Ready.

We just have a few more flaming rings to jump through, but we expect everything will be approved by the end of the month. Peace, patience & perseverance are needed most right now!

Love, love, love -

B + K

Lipscomb Basketball Adoption Rally

Saturday night we attended a basketball game at Lipscomb University.  Not only was it Star Wars night... 

 

 

...but 100% of the proceeds went to 14 adopting families in the Nashville area & we were lucky enough to be recipients!

 

See us on the court?  It was awesome to meet other families & see so many smiling faces in the crowd cheering us on. 

 

 

 

We want to thank everyone that supported us by buying tickets & to those who came out to the game to hang out.  It was a fun night that we'll never forget!

 

 

 

 





It's ok to dream.

We attended our first discussion group last night and the topic was on 'The Wait'.  We listened to families speak on their adoption journey and how they handled waiting for their child to come. 

I've never been a part of a counseling session or a support group, but that's in essence what this was.  We were in a room with around 27 families represented; all somewhere in the process of either domestic or international adoption. 

No, we didn't go around the room and say, "Hi, my name is Brooke and it's been 15 months since I decided to adopt..." (collective response:  "Hi, Brooke!") But I felt a twinge of awkwardness at the situation.  It's hard to talk about things so personal and as we sat on the front row within this large group of people, I felt this rawness amongst everyone.  It was as if everyone was waiting for God to show up and give us all the answers we've been searching for.  When I would make eye contact with others, we all seemed to have trepidation in our eyes.  Most of the people in the room looked tired and anxious.  The couple next to me was catatonic.  the husband all but carried his wife to her seat and they clasped hands the entire time.  Kevin and I wondered later in the evening if she was ok.  Maybe they've been waiting a long time for a child, but who really knows?  I can't get her face out of my memory.

Some couples were excited to be there and asked tons of questions.  The rest of us just sat and observed our surroundings, taking it all in.  Our case worker offered a lot of helpful information in regards to what happens during a meeting with a birth mother, accepting children who are drug positive, etc. Overall, I am so happy we went to this training session.

One quote from the evening that stood out to me was from the couple who waited four years for their child.  They had already been married for 11 years so they took that time to really do all the things they wanted to do, they became closer than ever during their wait and now feel like they're all the better parents for it.  It's all about staying positive no matter what trials life throws your way. She said at one point, "Don't be afraid to dream.  It's ok to dream about the future even while you wait."  When you don't want to think about something...because you were told it's never going to happen, or because it might not happen for a long time...it's hard to tell yourself that it's ok to be happy and excited.  So now, as we focus on completing our home study and look forward to 'the wait', we are trusting that everything will happen in its good and proper time. 

Thanks for waiting with us.

~Brooke

Lipscomb Basketball Adoption Rally!

This week we were surprised by a phone call from a friend saying we needed to contact someone at Lipscomb University she had spoken to earlier that evening. Our names were mentioned, saying we were in the process to adopt a baby & after a couple of emails back & forth with the staff, I was told they wanted to support us in our journey.

Every year the university gives the proceeds from one basketball game to selected adopting families.  How cool is that?!  This year we are one of eight families in the Nashville area being honored!

The game is on Saturday, February 8th at 4pm.  The Lipscomb Bisons are playing ETSU.

Here's the deal:  To purchase tickets for the event, you just need to go to the following address:

http://lipscomb.streamlineticketing.com/web/section.asp?eventId=262

Follow the directions to select your seats & it will prompt you on the following page to create an account with their site.  At checkout, enter the promo code ADOPTMASCHMEIER & 100% of your ticket cost will go towards our adoption!

Wouldn't it be awesome to get a big group together & see a basketball game?  Please join us on February 8th!  We would LOVE to see you there.  Bring your kiddos!  Let's enjoy a great night celebrating adoption!

Share this info with anyone in the Nashville area that would like to support this event.  Thank you so much for your help!

~Brooke & Kevin

Miles to go!

Since our intake meeting last week we’ve had paperwork, testing & the looming home visit on our minds.  I knew we would have to jump through a lot of hoops to adopt, but I don’t think anything or anyone couple really prepare me for the reality of what happens during the adoption process. 

People ask if it makes me angry having to go through all of this.  I guess in some ways, if I dwell on it I start to get frustrated.  But really, I just want to be a mom.  I don’t care what I have to go through to be one.  If anything, Kevin & I are going to be VERY sure we’re supposed to be parents by the end of this process.  A lot of people don’t get that choice to consider every aspect of what it means to be a responsible, loving parent & we get that time to pray about it, think about it & anticipate it.  When I stop to think about adopting a child I just get so excited now.

So where am I in my ‘paper pregnancy’, you ask?  Well we were fingerprinted last week & we have scheduled our physicals which will take place the first week in February. 

 

We have most of our ‘important’ documentation on hand (birth certificates, marriage license & dog immunizations) I’m not kidding about that last one! We have surveys to fill in and our references have been contacted. 

Next week is our home visit (paint touch-ups happening now, fire extinguishers purchased, baby gate is set off to the side as proof that we will protect any child that comes in our house from the 2 little steps that go from our den to the kitchen.) J After that we will go through a series of interviews with the agency.  Our case worker said that if all goes as planned we could expect to be on a WAITING LIST in 6-8 weeks (well 6-7 now!) THAT’S SO EXCITING!  I just want to be there.  I want to be waiting on a child.  Knowing that we have to ‘pass’ all these tests is stressful.  I will be so happy to have that off our shoulders & just…wait.

Thanks to all of you who are waiting with us & following us along this journey! 

 

~Brooke